In subtle ways, God has been speaking something over and over again to me over the past few months in the midst of some new storms He has brought into our lives. "Be thankful in all things." Daily it seems like this theme has caught my eye from a devotion read that morning, to its mentionings on a friend's blog, to the recounting our blessings each night on our thankful tree. Being thankful is something I am not naturally inclined to be so much of the time. God's been really patient with me. I have such a long way to go in growing in gratitude.
Over the the past 6 months my health has encountered some pretty significant struggles which have made me feel at times like an 80 year old. I'll spare you the details. Let's just say the topic of "how is your pain level today" was not one I thought I would be discussing at 35 years of age. But like trials that come to ALL of us... I know that this one too is somehow for my good because that's what my Lord promised me (Rom 8:28).
Amy Carmichael, one of my favorite authors wrote in her book "If":
"A cup brimful of sweetness cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how suddenly jarred."
How I wish sweet water were being spilled on my kitchen floor on those days when I hurt so bad I just want to cry. What so often comes forth though I am ashamed, is crotchety complaining.
If God will heal, and that is what I am asking, I will praise Him with my ever lasting breath. But what if He doesn't? What if the pain only gets worse and intensifies all the remaining days of my life? What if this thing doesn't get under control soon and it affects our dreams which have been building in our hearts for years and years? Will I still praise Him? Will my lips declare He is still good, and wise, and powerful, and lovely?
I have been fortunate to live so many years virtually free from physical trials. I am praying that the current ones I am wading through now will go away and I know He has the power to do this either through natural or supernatural means. But if they do not, and He allows them to linger, or strengthen with time... I have a choice in how I will respond to these afflictions not uncommon to man. I can either run to Jesus, my only true refuge and strength, or I can turn into a crotchety complainer. God has something pretty profound to say about those who grumble and complain, and I sure as heck do not want to be among those whom He makes an example of for not getting the picture.
"They grumbled in their tents and did not obey the LORD. So he swore to them with uplifted hand that he would make them fall in the desert, make their descendants fall among the nations and scatter them throughout the lands." Psalm 106:25-27
A dear friend of mine in her early 30's who lives with daily chronic pain far greater than I can imagine sent me this quote a few days ago from one of my favorite books "Stepping Heavenward":
"lay down this principle as law - God does nothing arbitrary. If He takes away your health, for instance, it is because He has some reason in doing so; and this is true of everything of value; and if you have real faith in Him, you will not insist on knowing the reason." Elizabeth Prentiss - p. 103
I don't know what God is up to. But I do know He's calling me to trust Him, to praise Him, and to seek Him because as the quote says above, "God does nothing arbitrary." If I wake up tomorrow spry and pain-free I will rejoice because my God surely has the power to do this. If my doctor finds a concoction or therapy or plan which will bring healing to these bones I will throw my children up in joyful adoration. But if change doesn't come, and pain persists in ways I am grateful I've not had to experience until now, my prayer is that He will make me grateful anyway. Because I certainly have more than I deserve simply because I have Christ. And counting my blessings is far more God-glorifying than being crotchety.
Over the the past 6 months my health has encountered some pretty significant struggles which have made me feel at times like an 80 year old. I'll spare you the details. Let's just say the topic of "how is your pain level today" was not one I thought I would be discussing at 35 years of age. But like trials that come to ALL of us... I know that this one too is somehow for my good because that's what my Lord promised me (Rom 8:28).
Amy Carmichael, one of my favorite authors wrote in her book "If":
"A cup brimful of sweetness cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how suddenly jarred."
How I wish sweet water were being spilled on my kitchen floor on those days when I hurt so bad I just want to cry. What so often comes forth though I am ashamed, is crotchety complaining.
If God will heal, and that is what I am asking, I will praise Him with my ever lasting breath. But what if He doesn't? What if the pain only gets worse and intensifies all the remaining days of my life? What if this thing doesn't get under control soon and it affects our dreams which have been building in our hearts for years and years? Will I still praise Him? Will my lips declare He is still good, and wise, and powerful, and lovely?
I have been fortunate to live so many years virtually free from physical trials. I am praying that the current ones I am wading through now will go away and I know He has the power to do this either through natural or supernatural means. But if they do not, and He allows them to linger, or strengthen with time... I have a choice in how I will respond to these afflictions not uncommon to man. I can either run to Jesus, my only true refuge and strength, or I can turn into a crotchety complainer. God has something pretty profound to say about those who grumble and complain, and I sure as heck do not want to be among those whom He makes an example of for not getting the picture.
"They grumbled in their tents and did not obey the LORD. So he swore to them with uplifted hand that he would make them fall in the desert, make their descendants fall among the nations and scatter them throughout the lands." Psalm 106:25-27
A dear friend of mine in her early 30's who lives with daily chronic pain far greater than I can imagine sent me this quote a few days ago from one of my favorite books "Stepping Heavenward":
"lay down this principle as law - God does nothing arbitrary. If He takes away your health, for instance, it is because He has some reason in doing so; and this is true of everything of value; and if you have real faith in Him, you will not insist on knowing the reason." Elizabeth Prentiss - p. 103
I don't know what God is up to. But I do know He's calling me to trust Him, to praise Him, and to seek Him because as the quote says above, "God does nothing arbitrary." If I wake up tomorrow spry and pain-free I will rejoice because my God surely has the power to do this. If my doctor finds a concoction or therapy or plan which will bring healing to these bones I will throw my children up in joyful adoration. But if change doesn't come, and pain persists in ways I am grateful I've not had to experience until now, my prayer is that He will make me grateful anyway. Because I certainly have more than I deserve simply because I have Christ. And counting my blessings is far more God-glorifying than being crotchety.
Praying for you, friend! May God give you peace as you trust Him and may He conform you more to the image of His son through your suffering. My hope is that this is only a season for you, but I know God's grace is sufficient for us both no matter His answer to our prayers.
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